recount

Always The Victim

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I was re-watching ‘The Unit’ and an episode came up that just reminded me of what had happened to me last year. Firstly, The Unit is a great show, unfortunately it got axed but I hadn’t watched it in a couple of years. My perception of the episode a couple years back was completely innocent. But now… it’s just a horrible reminder of what happened a few weeks after my birthday.

Not to leave you all in suspense, but the story, no, the recount I’m about to tell will be given in more detail another time. For now, I just wanted to get it off my chest. I feel like I’ve sort of accepted it, well I accepted it a long time ago but it makes senses now to finally tell someone.

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I was on campus at our main library with 3 of my closest friends. It was just the start of the second semester last year and we thought we would be good and start our revisions early. We planned to study til late that day and I really wish I didn’t decide to lie to them and ‘quickly pop out to go meet a friend’. Me and Mr happinesseveryday from sugardaddymeet.com finally set a date to meet and he told me he could only see me in the city at 6pm. That later changed to 7pm and waiting around for his call at central turned it into 7:30pm.

I was being careful, yes it was getting late but the city is a busy place at that hour too. But when we met, he was sitting in his FWD at the carpark and it was freezing. I had a see through top and a pencil skirt on. A threw on my thin grey cardi but that still wasn’t enough. After much banter he convinced me to stay warm in his car. More banter and he convinced me he’d drive us to a coffee shop he knew. I was still naive and didn’t realise where we were going until he pulled into the drive way of a motel on Parramatta Rd.

By then I had started to try and leave. I didn’t know exactly where I was or how I was going to get back but I was scared. He passively persuaded me into his room and before I knew it he wanted my clothes off. We sat there for what felt like hours but was only half an hour going back and forth. I would say ‘no’ but he would go on and on trying to convince me why it makes sense to fuck an obese, 50 year old.

Let’s just say, he couldn’t convince me to screw him willingly, so he screwed me anyway.

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I didn’t cry after, I teared up during, but I didn’t cry. I didn’t cry the next day, or a month later. I have yet to waste my tears over it and I have yet to tell anyone. But I did feel disgusting, violated, dirty and unworthy. I blamed myself a lot, I still think if i had just walked away from the very start then I wouldn’t have felt so horrible.

I want others who have gone through the same to speak to someone. Anyone. I’m not strong enough to tell someone personally but I feel my blog is a good start. I don’t want pity from anyone who reads this, I just wanted to get it off my chest for the first time.

Sx

 

And Then There Was Oliver…

My disgust after Richard’s email had passed and I was back on the hunt for my sugar daddy. I selected the same options ‘I am a sugar baby [female] seeking a sugar daddy, age: from 25 to 50, region: New South Wales’ and crossed my fingers as I pressed search. The first page had the same men I had seen from before, maybe a couple of new profiles with no photos. I moved onto the next page and I quickly scrolled down to the bottom of the page, I was certain it was the same men from page 2 as last time.

But one new profile caught my eye. I scrolled back up, Oliver2958. He used a slightly angled head shot as his display picture, probably taken on his phone. Oliver had short dirty blonde hair, big blue grey eyes and a well defined chin. I was immediately drawn and clicked on his profile to learn more. He was 37, lived in the slightly west north shore, non smoker, and a social drinker. What was different though was his assets were double his income. I hadn’t seen such a large gap between income and assets, especially a higher asset value. I didn’t think too much about it though, my priority was the physical, then I’ll worry about compatibility and money.

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Since I was so use to receiving emails from men expressing interest, I wasn’t sure if I was supposed to ‘make the first move’. I didn’t want to come across to eager but at the same time I didn’t want Oliver to miss my profile, so I sent a wink option. That would definitely grab his attention without me having to write an awkward introduction email.

I continued to go through a few more pages, but after page 6 I gave up. The search results hadn’t changed too much and the new profiles with photos were appealing but I needed to see what they looked like. I logged into my Gmail and checked my emails. I got more emails from the website, spam from online boutiques and an email from Oliver2958. I opened it straight away, “He responded quickly” I thought, that must be a good sign.

Subject: Hello (SugarDaddyMeet.com)

Hello! I just was reading about you…thought you sounded very down to earth. Great pic too!
Was wondering if you liked the profile of me?

It wasn’t as detailed as Richard’s email but it certainly wasn’t as horrible as the first email I had received from ‘ECLECTICMAN’. I saw the date and time of the email and noticed he had sent the email 20 minutes before I even sent out the wink. Another sign! I didn’t even need to grab his attention, he had already noticed me.

I got another email from Oliver but this time in response to the wink.

Subject: wink

Hey – thanks for the wink! In fact I just sent you a message. Hope you got it…

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I hit reply, I couldn’t pass this opportunity.

Subject: Re: wink

Hey Oliver,
Yeah sorry didn’t see your message, but it’s a good sign I winked at you before seeing you message.

I’m interested in what you have to offer, I’m looking for something fun and interesting I guess.
Do you have any questions for me?
Summer xx

This was my first interaction with another member and I really had no clue how to structure my response. All I knew was I wanted Oliver to email back and the reply I sent should almost guarantee at least some sort of response. Little did I know it would be the start of an amazing sugar baby, sugar daddy relationship…

Sx

Stifler’s Mum (Sugar Mummies)

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So a friend of mine brought up a rather interesting question, is there a female version of a sugar daddy?

There was always the female sugar daddy option on the websites I visited and used. However because I had signed up as a female sugar baby seeking male sugar daddy I wasn’t able to access the ‘other side‘. But from a lot of Googling and reading stories, I think I’ve gathered enough information to give a general description?

Warning: I may be wrong but I think I’m almost right.

Sugar mummy or more commonly used and known as cougars. I believe there is a slight difference between a sugar mummy and a cougar as well. A sugar mummy is definitely closer to a sugar daddy than a cougar.

A cougar is an older woman who dates younger gentlemen. These relationships can vary a lot, they may involve an arrangement similar to sugar daddies, but more commonly, just a dating or relationship sort of arrangement. A sugar mummy would be more indefinite an arrangement where money is exchanged for time and services (mostly including sex).

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Unfortunately, sugar mummies aren’t as popular or well known. As a result when looking for websites similar to the ones I use (except the other way round), there were barely any. The top of Google’s search list is a wedding cake business and the rest were either Facebook pages or American sugar mummy services (still quite low). You’re most likely better off going onto a sugar daddy website and reversing the sign up and search. Male sugar baby searching for a sugar mummy.

Good luck male sugar babies!

Sx

 

Offically a Sugarbaby

“Don’t tell anyone.” I rolled my eyes. Why would I tell anyone I was thinking of becoming a prostitute? I locked my phone and threw it into my bag. I spent the entire train ride home in my own world. I was lucky I didn’t miss my stop. The only thing that was really going through my head was the $150 an hour I would make. My mind was battling between what I always thought was wrong, a job that only the lowest of the low do. Girls, who dropped out of high school, got knocked up and needed an easy job. I’m not a high school dropout; I attend one of Australia’s best universities. But WHY does it seem so wrong? I couldn’t understand. It’s just another job, it’s a service, a service that would easily fund my current expensive lifestyle and even possibly my future. Two sides of my brain were fighting, and wasn’t closer to making a decision.

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You know how in movies, the best friend always says ‘Just sleep on it, promise ?’ when it came to the main protagonist having to make a plot twisting decision. Well that’s what I did. My logical side told me to sleep on it.

Thank goodness I did, because that night my mind wondered into other possible branches similar to prostitution. I sat up, fumbled through the dark to turn on my laptop.

From Google, escorting seemed to just be the same thing but better pay. As I was scrolling through the search page I noticed ‘sugar daddy’ on the right side. I wasn’t 100% sure what a sugar daddy was, I just knew it would be something similar to gold digging, and I had always joked about becoming a gold digger. So I started looking more into the world of sugar daddies. I typed “Sugar daddy” into Google and a long list of websites helping older rich men look for young attractive intelligent women who need financial help came up. “Dating service, cater[ing] specifically to those seeking Mutually Beneficial relationships”, “No Cheap Sugar Daddies. Meet only Millionaires.” and “The Largest Site for Sugar Daddy Dating” flooded my screen.

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Those websites weren’t very helpful, I still didn’t really understand what a sugar daddy was. I refined my search and found blog after blog from both men and women and their point of view of being a sugar daddy or sugar baby. It was such an interesting world I was delving into. I found stories of women finding great, successful men who would help financially fund their lives. They spoke of amazing nights having long, bonding conversations about their lives and interests. It seemed like being a sugar baby didn’t involve sex. I never came across a single story that mentioned a sugar baby having sex with their handsome rich sugar daddy.

It was decided.

I went back to my ‘sugar daddy’ search page and clicked on the first online website for sugar daddy’s, sugardaddymeet.com. The website layout was more like a forum but was still professional. I was determined to give it a proper go. I’ve always been a natural at talking to strangers, making others feel comfortable and I’d like to think I was some what attractive. So I filled in my details, Summer Smith, 2- years of age, 5’9”, slim, you know the usual stuff. And as I was waiting for my profile to go through,  I pictured a handsome, tall, blue eyed 30 year old. A smile grew across my face, this might actually work. This could be my new job, entertaining older men for money without the sex. Or maybe getting fuck with a slightly older hottie.

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Well so I thought…

Sx

The Start

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Early August 2013, the second semester had just started. I turned 20 something a few weeks before, still on holiday mode. I remember this day SO clearly…

I finished my last class for the day and headed to the computer lab to meet with one of my closest friends, Hue (he’ll be making many appearances in the future). We agreed to do some work before we went home, but I didn’t get a lot done that afternoon.

I walked into the lab and gave Hue a huge side hug, I hadn’t seen him for about 4 hours. Before I could even log in, I heard one of Hue’s friends calling my name from the other side of the room. Jamie, special guy. He’s rude, loud, rich, but surprisingly quite fun to be around. I hadn’t seen him since last semester, so we did the quick how are you, how was your mid semester break, what’d you get up to? You know the usual stuff. Then he just casually slips in “Did you bang anyone?”. I jokingly scrunched my face into a disappointed, revolted look. Then I told him quickly about a one night stand I had with some guy at The Star. He wasn’t my smartest conquest, a total tool but what else does one expect picking up a random?

But then all of a sudden Jamie’s expression just changed. “Okay you can’t tell anyone this. Like no one.” I nodded, quite confused.

“Seriously, you can’t tell anyone.”

“Okay! I get it Jamie!” I shouted. He leaned in and actually whispered conspiratorially “I know this guy who runs the main prostituting joint in Kings Cross.” then paused. I think he was waiting for some kind of response but I didn’t say anything, just stared at him. He continued,“If you want I can get you in.”.

I had no idea what else to say. What do you say to that? Yeah I slept around, but I wasn’t going to sell myself for money. I wouldn’t sink that low. “Um, What?”.

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Jamie just kept going, “You can either work in the hotel he owns and clients will come to you, or you can be driven to client’s homes by a driver. It’s relatively safe. Someone will know your whereabouts the whole time.” And before I could think, I opened my mouth “How much would I get paid?”  I do not know why but that had actually came out of my mouth.

“I think its $150 an hour. You’d get a few clients per night but wouldn’t have to work every night. You’ll be rotated every few weeks. Depends on how many girls there are.” I didn’t tell him to stop talking.  It became more and more intriguing with every detail Jamie gave me. I grew more curious, and flashes from episodes of ‘Secret Diary of a Call Girl’ went through my head. I’d get to explore all my sexual desires, with hot men with money and great bodies, and get paid for it, paid very well.

I still hadn’t said too much back to Jamie. “Just think about it. Like don’t decide now. I’m going to have lunch with him today, so I’ll ask him about it for you.”

The only thing running through my mind at that point was: what if I’m not even that good at sex? Why would anyone want to pay for bad sex?’ Was it wrong that at the time, that it was my only real concern? I finally stopped daydreaming and spoke, “Yeah, I’ll think about it. I’ll let you know tomorrow?’

“Yeah sure. I’ll try and find out some more stuff today.” Jamie walked back to his computer and I just looked back at my computer screen, staring aimlessly at the desktop screen. What the fuck had just happened?

Sx

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